Today is the day before Joey's birthday. He will be four tomorrow. He was born exactly on the day Little Ms Murphy died, and I found him in Elk Grove, just as I found Murphy. It is storming tonight, just as it was the night before he was born. His first two years were rough: he has mellowed so much and is a wonderful companion for me. I think he is unsually calm for a cocker spaniel but I think he has adapted to my less active days. He isn't getting fat, so he gets enough exercise chasing raccoons, squirrels and birds in the backyard. He is very different from Murphy. They couldn't be more different. Yet Murphy did and Joey does bring motivation to my day, warmth to my heart and comfort to my soul. Happy birthday, Joe Cocker. May you live long and well. May you have a wonderful life. May we continue to be just what the other needs. My heart is thankful.

Counting my blessings

I guess nesting isn't exclusive to expectant mothers. I am trying to get everything cleaned up and in order, probably because I am feeling much stronger and energized. I power-washed the brick walkway to the house and now will get some sand to sweep between the bricks to stabilize them. I have hired a painter to get the rest of the inside done before Thanksgiving. Those two things are major in that I have wanted to get them done for at least a year. Nothing like a fresh coat of paint to brighten up the house. Just like a fresh new day to brighten my mood. I have food on my table, my house is warm, my friends are close and my family members are healthy. I'm counting my blessings..... which are too many to even realize. Life is good.

Remembering

"Shut out the rest of the world and relive some special moment from your life. A moment when time slowed....when magic seemed real...when you were thinking, 'this must be a dream'. Dream it again. Recall it over and over. Don't worry -- happy memories never wear out." Anonymous

I am blessed with so many memories like this. It's interesting that I couldn't even enumerate them if I had to do so. This quote is a reminder to me, when I'm feeling a bit harried, or scattered, or weak or discontent, that God has blessed me in my life more than I could ever have asked, more than I could ever have dreamed. Dreaming something again keeps it at the forefront of my mind and nourishes me through the day. Memory is nothing to take for granted. Work it, use it, revive it and appreciate it.

Remembering is a gift.

Happy happy birthday, baby

My baby Jennifer is 40 years old today. We have been having some amazing weather in Pacifica and San Francisco this week -- just like the several days before she was born. I was so uncomfortable -- edema, too much weight gain, pregnant and overdue. It was a beautiful afternoon, so Jim grilled some steaks and we had baked potatoes and salad for dinner. I called the doctor and he told me to have a glass of red wine: maybe the contractions would stop. I did, and they didn't. So off we went to San Francisco for a pretty easy natural delivery (only because the anesthetic didn't work) and Jennifer was born in the wee hours of September 28th. Such was the beginning of changes in our lives that we could never have imagined. I'm so proud of Jen and the woman she is. So, happy happy birthday, sweet child o' mine.

Last Grandparents' Day Celebration at School

I grabbed this photo from my daughter's blog page -- it just kind of says it all about Jace. It was taken when he played baseball this summer and got to play catcher. I used to think Jace would need a helmet to get through life, but he seems to have learned how to land better when he crashes!

So, today - with mixed emotions - I graduated from attending Grandparents' Day celebrations for my grandchildren. Jace is the youngest and his event was today. I so loved seeing him in his classroom and watching him take care of us by getting chairs, carrying the game out to the picnic yard and serving us our lunches. Afterwards we returned to the classroom to complete with him an art project the teacher will be sending home later.

There is a huge difference between Kindergarten and First Grade. Jace has matured a lot over the summer and he is somewhat timid in the group setting. The look of relief when we made eye contact was so cute. He was so very sweet, and I have memories from today I will cherish. How fortunate I am to have been there today and to be able to spend so much time with my distant grandkids, as well as those at home.

I am blessed beyond measure when each and all of them give me giant hugs, draw pictures or make cards for me, sing songs or play music for me, eat 3 servings of pasta for me, and best of all, love me to the moon and stars and more.

God is good -- all is right with my world tonight. I have enjoyed and treasured this day.

Future challenges

I had lunch yesterday with a friend who has Parkinson's. He is 60 years old and was diagnosed ten years ago. We had a good time -- laughter and concern was a big part of our time together. He has a wonderful way of looking at life with sort of "gallows humor," my favorite kind. It is fascinating to me to listen as he expresses questions and as he faces a somewhat known future, hoping to get information about how to plan better and more accurately for what lies ahead. He is in the unique position of having no choice but to prepare. He is a man of faith and so I know he will rely on God for strength and help. He has a large family for support emotionally and physically.

I wonder how differently I would live my life if I prepared for what comes my way, instead of responding with typical "deer in the headlights" surprise.

Note to self -- no paper trail

This morning my daughter Lisa was a guest on "Good Morning Sacramento" for a segment filmed at her home. It was about organizational tips for busy Moms. The host of the segment was also named Lisa. The featured guest was Kelli Wilson, an organizational expert who has just released a book on the subject of helping Moms get organized and helping them learn to let go of things that have neither a place in their lives nor in their hearts. Her approach is mental, physical and spiritual. I got to be there for moral support and I thought she was right on target. Lisa's home is beautiful, yet she expresses concern about keeping organized, as do we all.

While listening to Kelli offering supportive advice, both on the air and off, I was startled by the realization that I know all the secrets and I know all the self-examination that is involved. I also realize I have chosen to stagnate in certain areas of my life, including holding on to things that no longer have relevance in my life. I'm not talking about 'things' with genuine sentimental value -- I believe those things are important to maintain continuity between from where I came to where I am going. But there are many superfluous objects that do nothing more than clog my house, my mind and my energy. And when I am no longer here and my daughters have to go through every single piece of paper to be sure there is nothing of value, they will be frustrated by the process and confused at the need to do it.

So my additional challenge will be to start getting through it -- start clearing the way -- start making room for those things in my life that are meant to be with me to allow me to become the person I'm supposed to be.

Note to self: It's never too late to reinvent yourself or your circumstances. Learn to live in the present by first looking back, purging what is of no value, and look forward to the joy and happiness of starting each morning with fresh energy and motivation. Get rid of paper reminders and downsize paper clutter, including magazines, old bills, coupons, idea sheets, recipes and everything else that can be available on-line or in some other form instead of paper. Eliminating a paper trail (or evidence and reminders of past mistakes) will clear the path to independence from material constraints. Lofty goal. Not impossible.