Note to self -- no paper trail

This morning my daughter Lisa was a guest on "Good Morning Sacramento" for a segment filmed at her home. It was about organizational tips for busy Moms. The host of the segment was also named Lisa. The featured guest was Kelli Wilson, an organizational expert who has just released a book on the subject of helping Moms get organized and helping them learn to let go of things that have neither a place in their lives nor in their hearts. Her approach is mental, physical and spiritual. I got to be there for moral support and I thought she was right on target. Lisa's home is beautiful, yet she expresses concern about keeping organized, as do we all.

While listening to Kelli offering supportive advice, both on the air and off, I was startled by the realization that I know all the secrets and I know all the self-examination that is involved. I also realize I have chosen to stagnate in certain areas of my life, including holding on to things that no longer have relevance in my life. I'm not talking about 'things' with genuine sentimental value -- I believe those things are important to maintain continuity between from where I came to where I am going. But there are many superfluous objects that do nothing more than clog my house, my mind and my energy. And when I am no longer here and my daughters have to go through every single piece of paper to be sure there is nothing of value, they will be frustrated by the process and confused at the need to do it.

So my additional challenge will be to start getting through it -- start clearing the way -- start making room for those things in my life that are meant to be with me to allow me to become the person I'm supposed to be.

Note to self: It's never too late to reinvent yourself or your circumstances. Learn to live in the present by first looking back, purging what is of no value, and look forward to the joy and happiness of starting each morning with fresh energy and motivation. Get rid of paper reminders and downsize paper clutter, including magazines, old bills, coupons, idea sheets, recipes and everything else that can be available on-line or in some other form instead of paper. Eliminating a paper trail (or evidence and reminders of past mistakes) will clear the path to independence from material constraints. Lofty goal. Not impossible.

Remembering is a beautiful thing

Today marks the anniversary of the passing of two very special people who left our family on this day, August 12, four years ago and one year ago. Remembering those actual days is painful; remembering who they were is beautiful. I know it can take a lifetime to appreciate all that someone has been in our lives, and even though they are gone, we can continue to learn from them.

I have lived long enough to realize that there are more family members behind me than in front of me. But those who are here provide what I am supposed to have. Every single day I think about how much family means to me. Some days I might feel aggravation; some days I might feel elation. But all days I feel gratitude and love.

It is impossible to perceive how anyone can survive in this world without the love of family and the continuity of memories and experiences. Whether those memories are good or not so good, to me the prospect of having no memories is a catastrophic prospect. There is a quote that goes something like, "God gave us memories so we might have roses in December."

Thank you Bob Derby and Judy Roque for the memories you have left for us to cherish. They help us live, laugh and love. Today.

The sun will come out tomorrow....

I was given two tickets to see "Annie" at the San Mateo Performing Arts Center. Sydney and I went today. What a stellar cast. The lead was an 11 year old (entering 6th grade in the fall) and she was nothing less than fantastic. She's been acting and singing for a few years and is very comfortable on the stage. She emanates confidence and pleasure in doing her role. Kids don't know so much about being afraid or to worry about criticism. There is such sweetness and innocence about them.

Of course the repeating theme is positive thinking. In the play, Annie even teaches that principle to FDR. Its a great way to think: the sun will come out tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a different day. No matter what is going on. You only have to (or get to) experience this day right now. And it has to be experienced fully, for it will never come again.

My first grandson Owen (pictured above) turns 7 tomorrow. He is so smart, so enthusiastic about life. He knows how to live in the moment. I learn from him. Grab the moments. They make up the days.

Happy Birthday, Daddy

Today marks the 100th anniversary of my father's birth. I will celebrate 65 years this October. How much the world has changed since he died at the age of 80. My life has certainly changed -- I'm divorced, retired and an orphan. My sister's profile would state the same.

My daughters are mothers and my grandchildren are thriving, beautiful people. Jennifer was 20 when Grand-Dad died, still in college and wondering what her life would be like. Lisa was 23 and working in a job where she would meet her future husband. So the twenty intervening years have been rich with change, filled with mystery and wonder. He would have loved all the grandkids, but would especially have gotten a kick out of the sense of humor each of them displays. Humor was my Dad's nourishment. And he would have loved their physical abilities, courage and intellect. Thanks for being born. I miss you still.

Remembering with Hope

Today marks the 11th Relay for Life in Pacifica. My friend Zoe was involved from Year #1, and after she lost her battle with breast cancer 2 years later, her family (mother, 3 sisters, 3 nieces) have carried on the effort in her memory and in the memory of and to honor far too many family members and friends. I doubt I know a single person who has not been touched in some way by this horrific disease. One year I counted those my family has lost to cancer, and I stopped myself because the number was far too overwhelming. And I'm not alone in this reality. We all grieve for the loss of those who are gone too soon.

My participation in the event is much less than it was, but I do try to get there each year for at least part of the weekend to support my friends and to reflect for a time and then to look forward to the day when we will walk no more -- cancer will be conquered and eradicated from the earth. People will read about it in history books and it will no longer be a household word. Where is our 'Jonas Salk' for a cancer vaccine?

The Pacifica Relay has in the previous 10 years raised over $1-million for cancer research. The dollars may have been raised a little bit here, a little bit there -- baby steps. But nevertheless, the finish line is reachable, whether you crawl, or walk or run. Believe in Hope. And know that every step toward the goal is as important as the last one. Get your mammograms and colonoscopies, quit smoking, eat more nutritiously, live well and laugh often, and most of all, love.

DId you ever just KNOW something special was about to happen?

In the life of a grandmother, there are many wonderful and amazing moments every time she can be a part of her grandchildren's lives. Looking at their beautiful faces and listening to all their wonderful conversations, watching them develop and grow through no contribution of my own, I am a grandmother of vast pride. I am proud of the children, and I am proud of their parents. Children with confidence and pride are not born, they are nurtured. Children who work hard and continue to work hard in the face of disappointment are not born, they are nurtured.

One of my life's little treasures is being present to see my grandchildren achieve success in what they desire. It can be a completed perfect spelling test, a confident performance at a school variety show, making a beautiful handmade card for someone they love, a triple in a baseball game that brings home 3 runners, scoring 5 goals in a soccer game, a trip away from home to camp for a week with new friends to be made. Or, it can be a soccer game where one of them succeeds to her heart's most lofty intention -- scoring a goal that ties the game -- seeing her own hard work come to fruition at a special moment.

And sometimes, a grandmother just "knows" something special is going to happen. All she has to do is pay attention every day to the little miracles around her and expect to find beauty, courage and success by living in the moment. Wow. I'm so blessed.

Dog is God spelled backwards

I admit it: I'm obsessive about my dog, Joey. Some people tease me by telling me that I treat him like a person. Like, when he's sick, I take him to the doctor. Like, when he's hungry, I get him some food. Like, when he needs water, I get water for him. I like to spend time with Joey. He is my buddy, and he shares my day.

Evidently he likes to share much more. Yesterday he managed to get to some medication I dropped before I could pick it up. Poison control advised immediate attention at the veterinary hospital. I won't go into it, but Joey went through a terrible ordeal over the next 24 hours involving charcoal, epicac and needles. The ordeal didn't end when we got home. My awareness that my back issues prevent me from taking care of Joey under some circumstances hit home yesterday. I was feeling quite overwhelmed with the notion of administering more of this charcoal solution at 11:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m. the next morning. Lifting him is one thing; controlling his strength is another.

The old saying "Dog is God spelled backwards" went through my mind, and I thought, well, God loves this dog as much as I do and He will provide what is needed for Joey's care. And he did in the form of Sue, a person who just happened to be at the vet's office when I picked Joey up and was perfectly able to give Joey his medication by coming to the house at 11:00 p.m. And so I believe that old saying, more now than ever before. And I believe that God listens when we call and opens our hearts to hear and accept His solutions. My grateful heart and my grateful dog say Thanks.