Friday, September 30, 2011

Enough

I have been really tired the last few mornings and I think it may be related to the medication I'm taking, or just that I've been doing more than usual and my body recognizes the new activity. I like the afternoon energy. I like that I got to go to Great America several weeks ago and I like that I went to the Giants game the other night where there was a lot of walking and stair-climbing. Shopping still wears me out, but that could be mental as well as physical because I should be saving, not spending, right now.

Getting a balance for the medicine is tricky, but I think that once the very slight stomach discomfort subsides, it's a good combination. Being willing to trust the doctors is also a big step, especially if one has tried to rely on healing from within. Honestly, though, there are just some things that are actually structural or genetic and the proof is in the MRIs or bone scans or whatever diagnositics validate the problem. Arthritis in my feet -- bone on bone -- is fact. Blown discs are fact. So stepping out in faith that the medication is what is needed is a positive choice in the right direction. And it may well contain the progression. I am hopeful.

That said, life is good. Family is healthy, soccer is underway, the holidays approach and I have enough.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Tooth Fairy's Last First Visit

Well, today my youngest grandchild Jace, lost his first tooth. He is excited in anticipation of his very first ever visit from the tooth fairy. It also marks the last first visit for my grandkids. I remember the butterflies in my stomach the first time I placed a lost tooth under my pillow, and I remember the joy the next morning when I found a coin had been left in exchange for my tooth.

There is something special in the faith of a young child in things unseen and we are able to be refreshed by their faith if we are willing.

I am so thankful for my granchildren -- they light me up and fill my heart with joy.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

World Changing News

Literally, world changing news has just been reported that Osama Bin Laden has been killed by U.S. Special Forces in Pakistan and that his body is in the custody of the United States. I wrote to my daughters that I am puzzled by my reaction to this breathtaking news -- not elation or excitement, but certainly a feeling of justice denied-- now satisfied. I will never forget exactly what went through my mind on September 11, 2001 when Lisa called to wake me to the news that a tower of the World Trade Center in New York had been hit by an airplane.

Haley and Sydney were nearly newborns -- Haley was almost 6 months old, Sydney was just past 3 months. Morgan was just 8. I mourned the loss of innocence in our country and the fact that they would never know the America their parents had known. Nothing would ever be the same in America, though we would survive. My feelings remain the same to this day. I watch my daughters and their husbands never taking their eyes off their children, always on guard for something out of place, vigilant to protect them. They are realists. I remain a dreamer.

I envision a place where everyone is safe, where children can be children and that nobody takes away their innocence. I envision a country that is independent of the need to police the world and gets back to the values and visions of our founding fathers. I envision world peace. I envision love and hugs and joy and satisfaction and yes, innocence again.

Gratitude fills my heart for the servicemen and women who enlisted because Osama Bin Laden killed thousands of Americans and many thousands more people around the world. Many died in the wars, and many continue to fight. They can now rest in peace or continue their committment knowing their sacrifice has been worth something. I am grateful that our President had the courage and the internal conviction to follow through on a campaign promise to prioritize the efforts in the war on terrorism. Perhaps we can get past the politics this time and recognize in unity that good has been done.

Sometimes the news is good news. This is some of the best news I've heard in nearly ten years.

Monday, February 28, 2011

It was a nightmare. The whole situation shot home like a bullet the fact that I am older and cannot do a simple thing like rescue my dog. Joey got out of the yard and was wandering up and down between the four houses but down along the creek bank. Eventually he got himself trapped in a bush and Guy was very close to him, but Joey wouldn't come to Guy. Guy was laying across the gabion. It was probably 30 degrees outside and very dark. The creek must have been so so cold.

When I called their house, I really just wanted Jen to come over and knock on the neighbors' doors to tell them about Joey. She wasn't home. Of course Joey didn't have his collar on so that was weighing heavily on me. He did, however, have on the bark collar, so he was quiet. That is, until Guy actually went into the creek and got him. It was horrible. The sounds coming from Joey were excrutiatingly painful and unnerving. It was just a little glimpse into hell for me. Here I am up on top of the bank unable to do anything to help. At one point I told Guy to let him go and just come up. The sound was too much. This ordeal was almost two hours.

Owen was very very sweet in comforting me and reassuring me that his dad can get Joey, don't worry, Gram. He held the flashlight and softly called to Joey. Very sweet.

Anyway, when all was said and done, I put Joey's prong collar on him and got him into the bathtub. He let me wash him and pull out many of the nettles -- the kind that are thick and bark-like, with swordfish like protrusions. He was full of them. They hurt. He even let me dry him a little bit. It would have taken an hour with the blow dryer so I just got most of the deep wet off him and put him to bed.

I'm going now to buy two or three X-Pens to put across the deck railings. They are 42" high, 16' long. That's what I should have done three weeks ago and I am really upset with myself that this was my fault for not doing it. I'm sure Guy's knee is much worse today -- I truly didn't want him to go down there. I don't know what else could have been done once Joey was trapped. It was brutal. Anyway, its over now.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Little setbacks are just little setbacks

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. (Who said that?) Sometimes a little hand surgery is just a little hand surgery. It just ain't no big thing. Anticipation was much harder than the reality. Stitches come out today and my trigger finger seems to be functioning perfectly. Thanks to TV dinners and a night out with friends, meals were easier than expected and the rest was good.

I can't wait to see the surgery center fees. I'm guessing around $10k. But for the money, along with a successful surgery, I did get an unbelievable ugly and huge amount of bruising and swelling in my left hand from multiple attempts to start an IV. Finally on try #4, I crossed myself and the nurse who was puncturing me agreed that maybe God could help. So she finally got an IV started near the inside crease of my left elbow, exactly where the blood pressure cuff was supposed to go during the surgery. She also placed my "Allergic to" tapes on my left wrist.

My anesthesiologist had a hissy fit when he saw it all. He literally pulled off the "Allergy" tapes because he had to monitor my blood pressure at the wrist. Frankly, I liked it much better. I don't know how accurate it is being done that way, but it barely hurt. Except, of course, for the additional trauma to the left hand which now is bruised the colors of purple, violet, green, brown .....lovely. So if that's the worst of it, excellent.

Now on to things that my right hand can do most effectively. Freedom from pain and limited use, I shall arise to greater heights. Maybe I'll even polish my nails.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Welcome 2011

Wow, it seems a long time since I've posted. Christmas has come and gone and the New Year has arrived. December was a good month -- I got to spend time with special people, see Christmas programs for all four of my young grandkids, have lunch with some great friends and get reacquainted with my best friend from high school and his wonderful wife. My family was generous to me and filled my Christmas with wonder and joy.

My youngest grandchild, Jace, turned 7 on December 19th. His birthday was a buzz of excitement so close to Christmas. Haley played soccer in a monstrous storm and Jace got to stay at home, warm and dry. A few of us celebrated at his house with an upside down dinner: dessert was first, with dinner to follow at Jace's favorite restaurant, Paesano's. He loved his gifts and was very sweet and thankful. I can't believe he, the youngest, is seven. After so many years of waiting for grandparenthood, how quickly the time is flying by. Birthdays are reminders that you have to make hay while the sun shines, whatever that means.

I'm looking ahead to a future of hope, strength, courage, faith and comfort. Oh, and for world peace.